Academy Adventures
by Fates My Bitch
Summary: Before there was a Doctor and a Master there were two rebellious teenagers. And like all teenagers they are prone to doing very stupid things when they are bored. Thus begins the crazy adventures of stupid teenagers. Rated for drugs and language.
1. Chapter 1

This is what happens when you watch Doctor Who and listen to clips from Invader Zim. I could just imagine this happening.

I own nothing.

--X--X--X--X--

Romana sat at the cafeteria table with her little group of friends. One of them tapped her elbow and jerked her head toward the open door. In walked two of the Academy's top trouble makers, Koschei and Theta. They did everything together because no one else would hang out with them.

They fought all the teachers and when they got detention they never showed up. Theta got hauled into the headmasters office for smoking on school grounds. Later when he smoked he sat on school grounds and when he inhaled he would moved his torso over the boundary so he was not on the grounds when he smoked. He still got dragged into the headmasters office.

Koschei was just crazy. He had chucked a stink bomb into the girls bathroom after physical fitness, than took picture of all the girls as they ran out of the room. He got his camera destroyed and dragged into the headmasters office.

They were just all around trouble makers. Though, if Romana was honest with herself, Theta was somewhat cute.

She watched as the two young Time Lords sat on opposite sides of table and began to whisper secretly. One of her friends reached across the table and grabbed Romana's muffin. "We have to stop whatever they are planning." And with a fluid motion chucked it towards them and hit Koschei on the head.

He looked around. "What? Who?"

"That - That was horrible. And that was my muffin." Romana glared at her friend

He spotted the muffin. He snatched it up and looked around the cafeteria. "WHO DID THIS?!" He stood up on the table and Theta rolled his eyes. "WHO DARES TO SPOIL MY NORMAL BOY HEAD WITH THIS... PORK COW?!"

Romana raised an eyebrow as one of her friends snickered. "Someone had a little extra crazy in their breakfast this morning."

"That's a stinking muffin!" One of the jocks from a table across the room shouted.

Koschei pointed at him. "SILENCE! Whatever this is I will find the beast that threw it. I WILL FIND YOU!! Sleep peacefully now for it is the last peaceful sleep you WILL KNOW FROM THIS MOMENT ON!!"

Theta grabbed him to pull him off the table. "Shut the fuck up Koschei! No one cares!"

Koschei flapped his arms as he tumbled off the table, his face hitting a near by table. Crawling back onto the bench he sat, cradling his eye which had hit the corner. Theta began to make small, harsh gestures with his hands as Koschei nodded to whatever he was say.

* * *

This will be continued with stories of the Doctor and the Master as teens and children. Koschei is just a name that I keep seeing pop up for him so I used that. There will be more.


	2. Missing: 1 TARDIS

Romana and Skye chatted about their last class, cutting across the courtyard near the drivers ed lot to get to the dorms. A loud clank caught their attention.

"Moron! Your going to get us in trouble!"

"Its not my fault that I'm clumsy. Besides I don't see you doing anything to help."

Pushing the gate open Romana squinted into the dark. "Theta?"

Theta stiffened and slowly turned his head from the front of a Type 40 TARDIS. "Hello Romana! Skye!" He quickly passed something to Koschei and rushed over to them. "How are you two doing this fine evening? It is a lovely night isn't it. You two should go into the dorms."

"What are you two doing?" Skye looked around him at Koschei who was fiddling with the door.

"Stupid fucking thing! OPEN!!" He banged his hand on the side of the door. "OW! SPLINTER!"

"Shut up retard!" Theta turned and yelled at him before smiling back at the two Time Ladies. "Well. Weren't you heading back? OW!" He rubbed his head where Romana had smacked him in the head. "Whatcha do that for Romana?"

"Don't try and distract us. What are you two doing with that old Type 40? And don't call me Romana." She pushed past him Skye following closely on her heels.

"Either I call you Romana or I call you Fred."

"I'll take Fred."

Theta frowned as he watched her inspect the door where they had unsuccessfully been trying to pick the lock using more traditional methods of a coat hanger. "What the hell are you two up to?"

"None of your business." Koschei snarled at her.

"Stop Koschei. They've already seen it. We're stealing the TARDIS to go to Andromeda 6."

Romana gave him a surprised glance. "Andromeda 6?!"

Theta smiled roguishly at her. "Yeah. Its gonna be wicked awesome. You two wanna, oh I don't know, come with us?"

Romana pondered. It actually sounded like fun but they had exams in two days. They couldn't afford to go to Andromeda 6. "Maybe after finals."

Koschei rolled his eyes. "Don't know why you would even bother asking these two. They wouldn't know a good time if it tap danced on top of their textbooks." Walking inside the ship he called to Theta "When you're done with those two little girls we gotta get going. There are woman just waiting for us Theta! We can't disappoint them!"

Theta shoved his hands into his pockets and rocked on his feet grinning at his female classmates. "Last chance to come." He looked between the two of them. "All righty then." He dashed into the ship and closed the door with a click. "LETS ROLL KOSCHEI!"

Skye frowned as the ship disappeared. "What a couple of retards."

* * *

Don't own anything. Next chapter will be about Andromeda 6.


	3. Andromeda 6

The TARDIS stilled with a grind. After a few seconds an angular face with intense eyes and dark coloured poked his head out the door. At the vibrations from the heavy beat of the music beneath his feet and the flashing of strobe and neon lights told him they had finally reached their location.

"Its safe Theta! We're here!"

Theta stumbled out cradling his head. "I'm driving on the way back. You are a terrible driver!" Straightening the jacket he quickly ran a hand threw his hair, giving it a more 'I-don't-care-what-I-look-like' look. "And this TARDIS does not have a very good wardrobe." He tightened the belt on the dark jeans that were falling off his skinny teenage hips. "The shirt is cool though." It was a blue t-shirt with bold black words 'Wanna play doctor?" on the front.

"I like its sense of taste." He straightened the tie and smoothed the suit out. "I can't account for yours though. But there are women in those clubs just waiting for us and our TARDIS. Nothing turns a woman on like a time machine."

"You would know this how? You've never had a girl before."

"Neither have you asshole. But we can't let them know that."

Walking side by side they entered the club. They had a bit of an issue getting in but with a little help of psychic paper and convincing from Koschei they managed to get in. And if asked again, if all the lying and stealing and putting themselves and their futures at risk was worth it, they would say "Hell yes!".

--X--X--X--X--

The reason Andromeda 6 is such a shocking place to go is for these reasons. Every drink is alcoholic and almost all can come with drugs. Drugs are given freely and at no charge to anyone. Clubs are filled with dance music. There are special restaurant for "couples" to enjoy each other in semi privacy. Its a continual party planet.

So, you can see why it would attract two rebellious teenage boys.

Koschei leaned over the bar and yelled "This is fucking awesome!"

Theta's eyes darted around the room as he pulled his feet up. "This place is covered with blood Koschei! Someone needs to clean up this blood!"

Koschei rolled his eyes and whispered something to the bartender, motioning to Theta who was seriously freaking out. Giving him a glass of golden coloured liquid was passed to Koschei who shoved it into Theta's who swiftly drank it. Suddenly the blood from the floor and and the walls was gone and the pounding in his head faded. Blinking he looked around and slowly placed his feet back on the floor. As soon as that happened he went off to find a dance partner.

Most of the females already had partners except for one towards the wall. A blond and from the way her dress clung to her body would be most likely from 21st or 22nd century Earth. She was dancing in a series of twirls, shimmies and hand gestures. He cleared his throat nervously before tapping her shoulder. "Excuse me." She turned to him, brown eyes questioning. "Would you mind if I um if I danced with you?"

She bit back a laugh he could tell. "Of course I wouldn't mind. But I think I'd like to know your name first."

"Theta. And you are?"

She smirked at him, sliding her hands down his back. "Rose."

"So Rose. Are you here with anybody?"

She glanced around the room. "Yeah but I'm sure they don't care. What about you?"

"Just um just my friend. He's at the bar."

Rose looked over at the bar to the other young Time Lord. "Maybe all three of us could dance together."

--X--X--X--X--

Koschei had no idea how this had happened. He had been drinking and trying any drug he could get him hands on. He loved this place. No pressure to do everything perfect. No pressure to continually study. Just pure oblivion. He loved this. Now he was half naked, having sex with an also half naked blonde human while Theta was sleeping.

Humans were fascinating. They were cruel and vain and their passions drew them to do horrific things to each other. This one tasted like time and she smelled like stars. She felt like the home that didn't exist for them. She was safe and hot and it felt right. Oh when they got home they would be punished. But it didn't matter. Feeling alive was the only thing that mattered.

Everything got spinny as he clung to her gasping. "Wha-wha-what the fuck?"

"How do you feel?" Rose, that was her name, Rose, stroked his hair.

The world finally stopped spinning and he gulped. "I'm not sure. I feel weird. You feel weird." He brushed his hand across her neck and shoulders. Gently placing a kiss on her pulse point he whispered urgently "You're so different."

"Different good or different bad?" She said with a smile.

Koschei gave a tiny smile. "Different good. You feel like home, or what home should feel like."

"What is your home like?"

"Its filled with stupid hypocrites who wouldn't know fun and adventure if it shot them." He spat. "No one can see how sick everything is. No one can hear the drums." He began to beat the familiar 4 beat rhythm on the floor. "It isn't really home. It never was." He looked at Theta. He understood. It was only a matter of time before they were banished. Than they could really do something great with themselves. They could make a difference. "The sooner we leave the better."

Rose drew him into a hug. "Sometimes that's what you need. You need to leave and see new things to grow as a person. That's what happened with me. I started traveling and I feel more alive than I ever have before." Rose stared at Theta and looked back at Koschei. "Always remember who your friends are."

Grabbing her discarded clothes off the floor she slipped them back on. Before leaving the enclosed booth she kissed them both on the forehead. "Good luck you two. And remember: if a girl does something to you she usually likes it being done to her."

--X--X--X--X--

Jack watched the Doctor carefully. He wasn't sure of what to make of this situation. The things that he had told Rose to do had been so exact it was scary. And completely out of character. He told her that she was going to go into a club and have sex with two teenage boys. SHe had slapped him at first before he pulled her aside and whispered into her ear. After he was done she just nodded and left the TARDIS.

Some hours later she came back with a look that said 'I-just-had-sex'. Leaving her jacket on the railing she skipped up and kissed the Doctor on the cheek before announcing that she was going to take a shower... alone. The Doctor simply smiled and saiddid he'd join her later.

He had no idea what happened but he was pretty sure he didn't want to know.

--X--X--X--X--

Back on the TARDIS Theta twisted dials and pushed some buttons. Koschei tapped his chin before speaking a question that had been bugging him. "Why are we going back?" Theta looked at him but didn't respond. "We could do so much more just wandering than we could on Gallifery. We could change the world. Make it better."

"We have to go back Koschei. If we don't there will be no one to keep them on their toes. They'll all get fat and lazy. We have to make sure they are ready for anything." Theta sighed and ran a hand threw his hair. "As much as I hate that place we can't just abandon it." Setting the coordinates he pulled the last lever, sending them into time and space. Back to the place that lived but wasn't home.


	4. Making an Entrance

Skye and Romana stood side by side. It was graduation day. Two months since they had seen Koschei and Theta had left in a stolen TARDIS. They had passed at the lowest percent even without taking the final exams.

"Do you really think they are alright Skye?"

"Oh Romana will you stop obsessing over them? I'm sure they are fine." Skye turned her attention back to the dean while Romana looked up at the sky.

It was still and boring just like every other single day. Nothing new. A few birds and the occasional cough were the only sounds.

Until there were a few crashes.

Which were followed shortly by screams.

Everyone hit the ground as a TARDIS came flying completely out of control from the sky. It banged into several walls and knocked over a statue of Rassilon before finally crashing into the stage, causing it to fall taking several council members and teachers down. Fortunately everyone who was killed could regenerate. Chaos and destruction lay everywhere all center around the TARIDS that lay on its side.

The door of the smoking TARDIS swung open revealing Theta who looked as if he was on crack (think about 10 when he's driving the TARDIS. kinda like that.) and Koschei who looked absolutely terrified. 'Well,' Romana thought as she watched the remaining council members that were not regenerating drag the two from the ship and towards the school. 'They always do like to make an entrance.'

--X--X--X--X--

"You two are the most idiotic Time Lords to every walk this planet!" The dean's thundering voice could be heard down three stories. Koschei and Theta simply sat there, having heard it all before. It didn't matter what they did the lecture was the same. "If it wasn't for the fact that you two were the smartest students we have ever had I would have you two stripped of your rank!" Theta pulled faces at his back causing Koschei to hid a snort of laughter. "THIS IS SERIOUS BUSINESS!!" The dean roared.

Theta launched himself on the desk, nose to nose with the dean and shouted in an equally loud voice "CHIBIS ARE SERIOUS BUSINESS!!"

Koschei fell out of his chair holding his side with laughter at the looked of astonishment on the deans face. He tried to regain whatever dignity he had left, looking down on these two rebelling geniuses. "We shall speak with the council for your punishment."

--X--X--X--X--

The President pinched the bridge of his nose when he saw the familiar forms of two teenagers walk threw the doors. "Can't the dean settle this matter?" One of the other council man slipped him a sheet with their list of offenses. Scanning it he said "Apparently not. You two are brought here with stealing a type 40 TARDIS, mingling with lesser species, being disrespectful to your superiors, possession of illegal drugs with intent to distribute," he flipped the page over, his eyes widening at their contents. "Crossing your own time lines, destroying a statue of Rassilon, intercourse with different species, and you caused the regeneration of 12 other Time Lords?!"

Theta tugged at his shirt. "I'm afraid we have only committed 5 out of 8 of those charges. We did steal it. We were "disrespectful". We did possess drug but we weren't going to distribute them. We were going to keep them for ourselves. We did knock over the statue while coming in for landing. And we did have sex with different species." A dreamy smile crossed his face. "Those human girls really know how to party."

"Yeah. Especially those two drunk ones in America. They had this whole master/slave fantasy thing going on. Luckily I was the master."

Theta turned to his friend in surprise. "You actually got with those two? You lucky bastard. I was only able to score with that one chick with daddy issues."

"Enough of this!" The president banged his gavel sending the two into silence. "These are serious charges. I have no choice but to deliver the highest form of punishment to you two." There was a heavy silence that hung in the air, crackling with electricity. "You two shall have your names taken from you. You will be allowed to choose your new titles. If you ever choose to marry that significant other and only that significant other may know that name."

Theta and Koschei stood stock still, frozen in shock. Shaken to the core Theta lashed out at them screaming "You know what? FUCK YOU ALL! Fuck you and your stupid fucking laws! We haven't done anything wrong! We've been out there, in the universe actually LIVING our lives while you spend all 13 of them stilling here never once feeling alive!"

Koschei felt cold dread wash over him yet his hearts beat with excitement. His name was gone. Who was he now? He wasn't Koschei anymore. He could be whoever he wanted. He didn't have to be what everyone else wanted him to be. That was Koschei's job. He wasn't Koschei anymore. The dread was gone completely replaced by happiness. They were free from the rules. They could do whatever they wanted to now.

Theta kept screaming, oblivious to the epiphany that his friend had had. "I had a hit of every single drug in the universe! I've played every single arcade and video game! I've had sex with every compatible species out there and sex is fantastic! I envy those "lesser species"! They live their lives spur of the moment! I would rather live in complete and total chaos! I want to improvise my life! I don't want it all laid out for me by you buncha fucking old bastards!"

His friend reached out and touched his arm. "They've given us a gift. Don't you see? We can be whatever we want now. We don't have to be the people they want us to be anymore. We get to decide now." He turned to the council members with a light in his eyes that disturbed everyone of them. "From now on I will be the Master."

Theta didn't miss a beat. "And from now on I will be known as," he paused, his mind racing when he thought of Andromeda 6. "The Doctor." Suddenly, knowing that he had total control over his life with this new name he felt the same excitement that Kos-the Master felt. "Right. Time to go out and live the 13 lives I have. Coming Master?" Looking at his best friend he grinned that insane grin that he always wore right before something exploded.

A smile that had just a hint of insanity behind spread over the Master's face. "Wouldn't miss it for the world Doctor."

As they were leaving the chamber the president called after them, "We're also taking both your licenses."

The Doctor turned, crazy smile growing bigger. "Never had one in the first place old man."

--X--X--X--X--

Okay, if anyone has any ideas about other things they should do please let me know.


	5. Time Vortex

Theta shifted from side to side uncomfortably, looking up at the looming figure of his father nervously. The man looked back down at him with a blank face before offering a small encouraging smile. "Its okay my boy. You just have to look into the vortex and that is all. After that it will be all over."

Theta gulped, trying to push the lump of fear down his throat. He nodded as his father led him down the hallway to the double doors. He caught eyes with Koschei, a boy in his class the only other one that they gave those really big books to. The boy gave a small smile and nod that gave him more courage than his father's words and gentle guidance down the hall.

Staring up at all those council members dressed in those silly outfits he stopped at the line in front of the vortex. He looked everywhere except where he was supposed to. "Go on Theta. It'll be fine."

Squaring his shoulders Theta finally looked into the vortex. His knees got weak and his throat became dry. He trembled and wanted to move but his mind was frozen.

He heard it.

He saw it.

Millions of screaming voices filled his ears as he saw worlds burn and people die. He saw stars born and people live. Worlds and governments fall and rebuild themselves. He felt the guardians of time in his head telling him about all the things he would do, causing chaos and restoring order. Finally they were chased away by a golden light.

Theta's father, stood straight and proud of his son. A genius and now he was speaking with not only the Guardians of Time but the heart of the Vortex was making contact. Image his surprise when the heart let go and Theta took off like a bat out of hell.

Theta stopped shaking as the light wrapped around his mind, comforting him to an extent that he could move his knees again. She whispered in his ear "Run." and he did just that. He ran and ran, ignoring the looks and calls of the council members for him to come back. Koschei's eyes followed him as he ran down the hall, nearly falling down the stairs in his rush. He knocked over a librarian and three clerks. He ran for three miles before his father finally caught, sweeping him up off his feet.

"NO! NO! I DON'T WANNA GO BACK!" Theta kicked his feet as his father walked him back tucked under his arm. "SHE TOLD ME TO RUN! SHE TOLD ME! THE HEART TOLD ME!"

--X--X--X--X--

Koschei watched as Theta was marched back into the exam room before fearfully looking up at his own father. "Father. Why'd he run?"

His father shrugged. "Some people have a bad reaction to the Time Vortex is all. Sometimes it scares people, other times it doesn't say anything at all to them and on a few occasions it speaks with people."

Koschei looked back at the two doors that held his fate. "Does it hurt?"

"Sometimes people see and hear things but they usually don't hurt." Koschei stared at the big man next to him, who was looking at the large book of advanced sciences. He didn't want to be here. It was all because of that stupid test. That was the only reason that he was stuck with all these stupid books and everyone looked at him and that other boy weirdly. His parents were so proud of themselves and of him. It wasn't often that happened. He was always breaking something or blowing something up. It wasn't even his fault 90% of the time. (It was actually more of 50% of his fault but who was paying attention?)

Theta walked back out still looking terrified. His father had a hand on the center of his back leading him away. He felt bad that his son was so terrified but it was going to happen eventually. They would just go home and Theta would calm down and stop trying to flee.

Koschei was led to the same line in front of the vortex. He fidgeted in his starched suit before looking into the Time Vortex.

He was swept away in a flood of war and blood. Blood pounded in his ears and his hearts raced in excitement as a pounding started in his head. Drums. Thousands and thousands of drums. He saw chaos and brutality in its purest and most basic form. It was beautiful.

They all watched as this small boy did the opposite of the one before him. Koschei stepped closer to the vortex. He wanted to see more. More battle. More blood. It was so honest.

Soon it was over and his father started to lead him away. "No. I wanna look again." He let out a whine. "It was so beautiful. I wanna see it again."

His father smiled. "Maybe some other time but for right now we have to leave."

He frowned and pouted. "Fine." he stomped down the hallway. Maybe being an adult wouldn't be so bad if you got to play with things like that.

--X--X--X--X--

All and any ideas are welcome and I also kinda need them. I'm thinking about using Simm!Master and 10!Doctor in one with a young Doctor and Master.

In this chapter I related to Koschei more than Theta. You may hate doing something but because you rarely make your parents proud you are willing to do it to make them happy. -shrug- It happens to the best of us.


	6. Hill Sleding

Romana raised her eyebrows as she watched the two teens strap on helmets. "You two are real idiots." Their entire class had gone to the smallest mountain/biggest hill to watch Theta and Koschei go down it in a shopping cart they had jacked from a planet.

Theta smiled at her and patted the shopping cart. "Room for one more Romana."

She huffed and looked away. "Yeah right. I don't have a death wish."

Koschei strapped on his own helmet. "Come on Theta. Lets go. We don't have all day."

"Yes we do. We're Time Lords. We have all the time in the world." Theta tightened the straps and gripped the sides. "Lets roll!"

Koschei raced down the hill and hopped into the cart as it made its way rocking side to side. "WOO!"

They all crowded around the edge to watch the impending crash.

"LOOK OUT FOR THAT ROCK! LOOK OUT FOR THAT TREE! MOVE OUT OF THE WAY!!"

"GRAH!"

"OH RASSILON!"

The cart dodged a few dangerous trees and rocks before spinning out of control and rolling over several times. The group from above was silent. Than they rushed down to check on them.

Within the shopping cart the two boys stirred and groaned. Their classmates managed to get the dented metal contraption off of them. When Theta and Koschei regained conscious they sat up and grinned at each other.

"We use the couch next!"

"Than the canoe!"

Theta laughed and scrambled up the hill. "I'll see you at the top!" Than he tripped and fell. "Ow!"


End file.
